Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Lonely Grief - (clarified)

I have been thinking about that sentence ever since I posted last night. By saying it was lonely grief I did not mean to diminish the support of our friends and family. We have had such support from our parents, from our siblings, our friends, our small group, our church - each one of you has been such a blessing, and has brought comfort to us during this time.
But grief itself, I think, is lonely. You suddenly find yourself "minus 1", and you feel that, you are reminded of that, throughout each day.....each time I buckle the kids into their car seats, I am 'minus 1', and each time I tuck the kids into bed, I am 'minus 1', each time I look at a family photograph, we are 'minus 1'. And, because of the way that life works out - I am alone in my memories of her kicks, of her hiccups....that is all I have, and that is where the lonely comes in.
But to our fantastic parents, to our siblings, our have been such a blessing to us. You have been the hands, the arms, the ears, the shoulders of God to us during these past 6 months as you have held us, listened to us, let us cry on your shoulders......our grief has been made bearable by the love & support that you have given to us. We love you all, and are so thankful for you.


melanie said...

Hi Karen-
I have enjoyed catching up with you and your sweet family on your blog. I found the link on Beth's blog. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I think of you often and lift you up in my prayers. Your term "lonely grief" makes perfect sense. I cannot imagine what you have been through, but I am so thankful the Lord is getting you through each day. You have probably heard of the blog, Bring the Rain, telling the story of Audrey Caroline; but if for some reason you haven't, I think you would enjoy reading her story.
Wishing blessings upon you and your beautiful family,

Daver said...

Karin, what you say is almost exactly what C.S. Lewis tries to convey in his book "A Grief Observed." You describe a place where no one can join you. I recommend the book.

I love reading your blog, I appreciate your words and thoughts, and you and Ryan are always in my prayers. I look forward to the next time I can come and hang out.


Anonymous said...

I can empathize with as I lost a baby too. The "minus one" feeling is you sensing that she will be coming back in again.
God bless