Merry Christmas!

Ellis Anne Files

It has been a hard, hard month. I cannot find the words to write my feelings, so I will just tell the facts:

On November 19th, Ryan & I lost our baby girl, Ellis Anne, who was due on December 31. I was 8 months along and I realized that I hadn't felt her move in a little while, so I called & went into my doctor. As he looked at the sonogram, he saw that she had turned from being breech, to head down, and in her moving she had twisted the umbilical cord. She had no heartbeat. She had the cord wrapped around her neck and her wrist which were pulling against each other, and the cord had been kinked like a garden hose cutting her off from everything she was getting from me. He said it's a random, unpreventable, uncontrollable event - like being hit by lightning.

We went into the hospital that afternoon, and I had surgery at 6:00. Ryan & I were able to spend about 2 and a half hours with Ellis after I delivered her, holding her, touching her, memorizing her - she was beautiful. Perfect in every way, with head full of hair & a nose to match Secily's. Having them take her from us, knowing that I would never in this lifetime see her again was, and still is, heartbreaking.

We had her funeral a week later - my parents had come in, and Ryan's parents were able to be there as well. We are so thankful for our families - our parents took 'shifts' and stayed with us for 4 weeks - until I was cleared to lift Larson & Secily.
Larson & Secily have been oblivious to the whole situation, and I have been thankful for that. They are a great distraction for me, and I find myself doubly thankful that we have them.

Ryan & I have been so overwhelmed by the support of our church, family & friends. The flowers, meals, phone calls, cards, emails, letters, work & support we have received have meant so much...more than we could ever say.

Poem for Ellis - November 2007

(written by Jan Thomas, my aunt)

I’m just a little daughter

Who didn’t quite make it there

I went straight to be with Jesus

But I’m waiting for you here.

Don’t you fret about me Mommy

I’m of all God’s lambs most blessed.

I’d have loved to stay there with you

But the shepherd knows what’s best.

Many dwelling here where I live

Waited years to enter in,

Struggled through a world of sorrow

And their lives were marred with sin.

So sweet Mommy, deep in sorrow,

Let this truth help in your gloom,

I went straight to be with Jesus

From my loving mother’s womb.

Daddy gave me something for you,

It’s our secret Mommy dear.

Pressed it tight against my forehead

Whispered in my tiny ear.

I’ll be waiting for you Mommy

You and Daddy, Larson, Sis.

I’ll be with you then forever

Then I’ll give you Daddy’s kiss.

Mr. Talkative

Larson has been saying a few hilarious things lately, so in an effort not to forget.......

Last Friday night, we were driving down to Bryan & Eraina's for dinner. We hit some rush hour traffic, so after a little while, I got out the DVD player & put in a movie. Larson & Secily got very quiet & as the theme music started to play Larson loudly exclaimed "It's Showtime!"

*****

Larson is, and always has been an early riser, so he was in my room this morning (early this morning) and woke me up saying "Get up. Get up Girlfriend." Now, I am not exactly the finger wagging, work-the-neck type person, so I am not quite sure where he picked up this phrase, but wherever he heard it, he's using it!

*****

Larson loves trucks & the movie Cars. Of course the stores are loaded with toys from that movie, and Larson tells me, almost daily, that he wants to go to "Wam-rat" to look at the cars.

*****

Larson did come running to me this morning after I got out of the shower & said "Mommy, come here, I want to show you what my did." Here is what 'my' did...........

Yes, that is dishwasher detergent. The whole box of dishwasher detergent.

Happy Halloween!

The kids loved Halloween this year! We went out to the Fall Festival at our church, and Larson finally caught onto the basic idea of the evening.....candy, candy, candy - what could be better!? Secily loved dressing up.

Here she is, our little kitty cat:
Playing the games at church:
Hanging out with Jeff & Chandra:

Larson was an elephant - though it was a bit hard to tell since he didn't really wear his costume all that long. He decided to shed it to play on the inflatables.

All in all, a great night!

Weekly happenings....

I went and registered at the hospital this week for Baby #3 - which, by the way we found out is going to be a GIRL! I am going to have her at a different hospital than I had Larson & Secily - the hospital is brand-new and it is beautiful! It has a great waiting area (important for our big families!), and the nurse who gave me my tour showed me that each room has huge flat screen TV ready to go with all of the sports channels for the Daddies! I know, I know, we are going there to have a new baby and all, but really - Ryan is pretty excited about TV and the sports thing.
Here I am, 6 1/2 months pregnant - you can also see the new haircut here (for those that might care!)
Larson is really into jumping. He loves to jump off of anything, and anytime we are anywhere that there is something that he can climb on, he does, and then asks "Mom, can I jump?" I guess I should be glad that he is at least asking......


Another of Larson & Secily's favorite activities is being thrown into the air by Ryan.


Secily is so funny - she wants to be thrown up, but she holds onto Ryan's arms, so she doesn't actually "fly" anywhere...

A picture is worth a thousand words....

To spare you having to read my thousand words (because, really, I could write that much) I will let you just look at the pictures of our trip to Canada. We had a fantastic time - perfect fall weather, the entire family home for a week, a huge 60th birthday party for my Dad (which I don't have any pictures of!), and Thanksgiving at the Larson farm with almost the entire Larson family - there were 65 of us! Thanksgiving day was everything it should be - family, turkey, quads, football, fire, guns...what more could you ask for!

A glimpse into the female mind.....

My husband Ryan's official standpoint on the female gender in general is that "chicks are crazy", and he doesn't mind sharing that opinion with me, or anyone else. Now, I have always defended my gender to the utmost degree -loving, caring, emotional, feeling, rational, lovely...these things we are, crazy, we are not. However, as of yesterday I am beginning to wonder......

You see, yesterday, I cut my hair. I mean, I really cut my hair. My hair was past my shoulders, and now no part of it is remotely close to my shoulders. In my world, this is a big deal. Since then (yesterday at around 5:00) I have been living in turmoil:

"What have I done?" (the obvious statement after any haircut)

"Why cut my hair so short when I am 6 months pregnant?" (as if my face needed any help looking rounder)

"I think the left side is longer than the right side" (followed by a good 10 minutes in front of the mirror with the straightener)

"I think I actually do like it..." (then again.....)

"Oh. My. Gosh...what have I done?"

Now, I know all you guys out there are thinking - Ryan had it right all along - chicks, (especially this one) are (definitely) crazy!

But, girls of the world - you are behind me right? I'm not really crazy.

(Am I?) :)

Baby #3 is a.....

Mystery!!

I went in for an appointment today, and my doctor looked for the second time to see if we could tell what we are having, but that baby is having none of it! So, I guess we just wait. My doctor will do another sonogram for me, but that won't be for another 4 weeks!

In other news, Larson has started praying out loud. His prayer last night at supper went like this:
"Dear God, Thank you for SuperDave. Thank you for Secily. Daddy took the rope down. (Ryan had taken down some rope decoration from Larson's room yesterday) Thank you for music in me (translation: High School Musical 2....should I be embarrassed? I am.) Thank you for my cars. Bry is going surfing. A-men.
God must get a kick out of all the little prayers He hears - partly thankful, partly informative, mostly hilarious.

Since we are still without a camera for me to post any recent pictures......here is a picture selected at random from my computer - it's the entire Larson family, taken 4 days after Secily was born.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrel....

That's right. Those are my precise feelings about the person who went through my checked luggage and stole my camera and my credit card! (I know, not the brightest move on my part to put my credit card into my checked luggage, but still.....) I had some great pictures on the camera too - that is the worst part of it all.
So, you will just have to imagine the great time that we had making sushi when Erik & Yuriko were here. We had a homemade sushi feast...so good!
Thankfully we have been with family for the past month, so we have pictures from them that I can post.
Our trip to Ohio.....
Larson & Granny Making Cookies:


Secily & I:


Larson & Grandpa Glenn in the woods:

Larson & Secily at Inniswood Gardens:


My Parents Visit to Texas:

Larson & Grandpa:


Bryan, Mom, Secily & I at the lake (beautiful picture of me, I know):
(Side note: My mom went inland surfing this past week. Larson & Secily now have a Granny who hang-glides, and a Grandma who surfs!!)

Larson & Eraina watching Nemo:
Friends Visiting for the Day! It was so fun to see Carson & Hilary, SuperDave (who, for those of you who don't know, really is super) & Vella!!

Hopefully we will get a new camera soon, but in the meantime I will have to blog with whatever photos I can find on the computer! Should be interesting.....

A Visit from Grandpa Glenn

Glenn came through yesterday, just for the day, but I was able to get some great pictures of him & Secily.



Larson wasn't being totally cooperative for the photo session:


But, he did manage to find time in his busy day to put up a little play-dough art display on the wall

In other, unrelated news, Ryan shaved his head.

Me, Myself, and....My

Larson does not yet have the word "I" in his vocabulary. He instead subs in the word "my". So, a few of his most commonly used sentences these days are:
"Mom, look what my did!"
and,
"What do my get?"
We haven't done much lately...here is a brief sampling of our last week:
Aunt Lesley left us last Thursday (sniff, sniff) but we did get a visit from Aunt Elizabeth on Saturday! :)

Larson has been trying to work the Healy shoes - they are only about 10 sizes too big, but that doesn't stop him from having a good time!

Ryan made a strawberry smoothie....the kids couldn't get enough!