I woke up today as I do most mornings of the 19th. I woke thinking of Ellis. It's funny - I don't think of Larson on the 16th of every month, or of Secily on the 4th, but somehow the 19th of every month, well, it's just Ellis' day.
Today was a little more than that though, because today I am in my 34th week of pregnancy with our next little one.....so once again, I am 34 weeks on the 19th of the month - to say I woke up anxious is an understatement.
I have been working so hard this whole pregnancy not to worry, but to trust in what the Lord has in store for our family, whatever it may be. I have been consciously choosing to daily trust Him with this pregnancy, this baby, & with my emotions about it all (no small feat!) But this morning, I was just so nervous. I woke up & I just lay still waiting for this baby to move, praying to feel it move.....
As I lay there waiting, I read a devotional that I subscribe to...."do not be anxious about anything" it read, "but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will your guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus."
Wow. Talk about a blatant reminder from the Lord that He is in control. Of everything. He was in control of Ellis' life, and He is in control of this baby too.
I have 3 weeks to go with this pregnancy & as I move past this day, I am so grateful for a God who loves me, who is concerned with the details of my life, who, by no coincidence, reminded me this morning to "be anxious for nothing" & who gave me a peace about today that truly did pass all understanding. I will continue to put my trust in Him. For today. For tomorrow. For whatever may happen.
The baby moved. :)